Kroger

Going to the grocery store used to be so easy. Make a list, get what you need, buy a few treats along the way, stop and browse at items if you want. Not so much any more. Mary Evelyne and I went to Kroger this afternoon, in the middle of a summer storm at that. We didn't have much to get and they do have cookies and "car" buggies after all, so I thought it would be fine.

Well, once her pink frosted cookie was gone, she was ready to get out. She had her legs hanging out the side of the "car" and they kept hitting stuff on the aisle. She knocked one of her "crocs" with about a thousand "jibbitz" off (if you don't know what those are you must not have kids) and I let her get out of her car to retrieve it. That was a mistake because she had learned her key to freedom and continued to do it. So, finally I had to do the unthinkable....strap her in to her car.

That seemed to be working pretty well for another 5 minutes or so. We were more than 1/2 way finished when the inevitable "I have to go potty" moment arrived. I have never personally used the "potty" in Kroger, so it took us a little bit to locate it (all the way in the back between deli meat and milk) and I panicked that our newly potty-trained daughter might give that little car more than it bargained for. We found the potty, parked our buggy outside, ran in and ran back out. Uneventful other than the automatic flush toilet that scared the heck out of Mary Evelyne as she was in midstream.

Now I have to convince her to get back in the car, so I give her some groceries to "keep" for me in the passenger seat.

A few more minutes, we are almost finished, just finding the last few things, when over the loudspeaker I hear "If you are the owner of a red Dodge Caravan, your doors are open". The guy in the aisle with us says, "oh man, and it is raining too". Yep, you guessed it. I am the owner of a red Dodge Caravan and I know it is quite likely that my doors are in fact open. As I nonchalantly make my way to the front of Kroger, not wanting anyone to know it is my van that is open to the public for looting, I am silently questioning whether that was the best decision to announce over the loudspeaker to a grocery store full of who knows what that a car is completely wide open. I guess the damage could already have been done by then anyway, if anybody wanted a frog floatie, a sippy cup, The Fox and the Hound DVD, or a 4 day old iced coffee that wasn't so iced anymore. This Kroger is THE place to grocery shop in Marietta and I don't want to be seen making this manuveur, so I leave Mary Evelyne trapped in her "car" a few feet away, walk to the exit and hit my door buttons that close the car doors.

I think I pulled it off, but I'll never know. Of course on my way out, I see an old friend. I wondered if she made the connection when she saw me load up in my red Dodge Caravan and pull away.

Next time I'll send Daniel.